How to Get Referrals Without Feeling Icky
As a small business owner or entrepreneur, getting referrals from your existing network is one of the best ways to attract new clients. Referrals are valuable because they come with built-in trust—the person making the referral is vouching for you and your services. This makes it much easier to convert referred leads into paying customers.
However, many small business owners feel uncomfortable actively asking for referrals. They don't want to be seen as pushy or salesy, and worry that requesting referrals will damage their relationships.
Fortunately, I have good news! There are plenty of authentic, high-value ways to get referrals without the "icky" feeling.
Going Above and Beyond For Your Clients
The foundation of getting great referrals is simply by doing an outstanding job for your current clients. Of course—when you deliver amazing results and customer service, your clients will naturally want to refer you to others.
If you want more referrals without that 'ick' feeling, start by focusing on exceeding your current clients' expectations in every interaction. Be responsive, go the extra mile, and look for ways to delight them. A pleased client is much more likely to think of you when someone they know needs your services.
2. Building Genuine Relationships
Referrals don't happen in a vacuum—they grow out of real relationships and connections. Take the time to get to know your clients as people, not just customers. Ask about their lives, their goals, their challenges. Show a genuine interest in them as individuals.
Clients will be much more willing to make referrals when you have a warm, trusted relationship. They'll feel confident vouching for you because they know you can be relied upon to take great care of the people they refer.
3. Staying in Touch With Your Clients
We've all been guilty of losing touch with a client once we've completed a sale or project. Many small business owners make the mistake of only talking about their services when they're actively trying to get a sale. But to maximize referrals, you need to have an ongoing dialogue about what you do.
Take the time to educate the people in your network about the types of clients you serve, the problems you solve, and the value you provide. Share case studies, talk about your process, and explain how you're uniquely qualified to help. The more clarity you can provide, the easier it will be for them to identify good referral opportunities—without the 'ick!'
4.Making it Easy
Even if your clients love you and want to refer you, they may not always remember to do so in the moment. Therefore, make it's as simple as possible for them to pass along your information.
You can do this by providing them with ready-to-share materials like email templates, social media posts, business cards, or brochures. Suggest specific individuals they could refer you to. Following up with a quick thank you note can also reinforce the referral behavior.
5. Saying Thank You
This should be obvious - but when you do receive a referral, be sure to express genuine gratitude! A thoughtful thank you goes a long way in strengthening that relationship and encouraging future referrals.
You can send a handwritten card, make a phone call, or even treat them to coffee or a meal. The specific gesture isn't as important as the sincere appreciation you convey. Letting referrers know how much you value their support will make them feel good about continuing to send new leads your way.
6. Offering Incentives (Carefully!)
In some industries, it's common practice to offer referral incentives like discounts, gifts, or finder's fees. This can be an effective way to motivate referrals, but if you want to avoid that icky salesy feeling, it'll need to be approached thoughtfully.
The key is to keep the incentives modest and focused on the act of the referral, not the result. You don't want your clients to feel like they're only making referrals to get something in return. The incentive should be a nice bonus, not the main driver.
Be transparent about your referral program so there's no confusion. And make sure the incentives align with your brand and values—you never want it to seem like you're "buying" referrals!
7. Focusing on Relationships, Not Transactions
At the end of the day, the most powerful referral strategies are the ones that prioritize genuine relationships and mutual value over short-term transactions.
When you create an environment of trust, helpfulness, and appreciation, you won't have to "do" much of anything to get them—referrals will just come naturally. Your clients will want to support you because they believe in you and your work. And that's a much more sustainable foundation than any gimmicky referral "program."
So resist the urge to be pushy or salesy. Instead, focus on being the kind of business owner that people are eager to recommend. With patience and authenticity, you'll build a steady stream of high-quality referrals that move your mission forward.
